a friend of mine passed away this weekend. i wasn’t really her best friend, more like faint acquaintances. but i remember she was the first person to tell me that i had fast choreo pickup. maybe because it was right around the time when i was just beginning to take dance seriously, but for some reason those words stuck to me, inspired me. she had warmth in her eyes, and her words had meaning because everything she said always came from her heart. and she always carried a huge bright smile, the kind that could radiate any room. she was also one of the few dancers i knew that could do pretty much any style, heck she could even breakdance, i respected that. regardless, i think she was one of the first people to encourage and influence my dance career, and even though she was Catholic, i hope that she knew Jesus very well. R.I.P. Bernadette Ondevilla, i’m sure the SD dance community will miss you very much.
Dear Brian Byun,
i’m sorry that i took your presence for granted. i know you weren’t mentally stable, probably because of all the drugs you took, and i remember that i wasn’t really nice to you in high school because i thought you were making stupid decisions for joining that gang. if anything, i jokingly made fun of you, because you weren’t afraid to be yourself and dance on the tables outside during lunch time in high school, or because you climbed to the top of tatsu at yoshis birthday even though you were clearly risking your life, just so that we won’t have to stand in line all the way to the top of the building to ride that rollercoaster at six flags. you weren’t afraid to be daring, and you would do anything for your friends. i remember you’d steal jewelry from your parents’ jewelry shop and slang them, and you said you’d get me free earrings, and i thought you were so dumb for stealing from your parents but i failed to understand your heart to express your friendship with me. thank you for being nice to me when i wasn’t, and i’m sorry for ignoring your facebook messages where you told me to watch out for the illuminati, and when you began to think you were the second coming of Jesus. to be honest, i was getting scared of what you were becoming and i wanted to run away rather than sit down and help you through your problems. i heard from your fob friends that you once used to be such a happy, normal kid, i heard you were a genius and got straight A’s in school. i knew that you used to be madly in love with Jesus, or at least that’s what your parents said. i know a couple wrong decisions in life have affected your life at its worst, but i just want to say that i wish i was there with you to help you deal with your pain, your hurt, your loneliness. i wish i could have told you what a great son you are, how precious God sees you as, and that you have very loyal friends that will stick with you to the end no matter what state you’re in. i’m so sorry to hear that you felt like there was no other option other than to commit suicide. i’m sorry if the mental hospital wasn’t treating you like a respectable human being. you just wanted to be yourself and nobody was giving you space for that. maybe i could have, if only i knew. i hope you know that i care, and that your presence will be missed. R.I.P. Brian i really hope you’re in heaven.